Lecture Cancelled: UTSA Schools Rice in the Dome

📌 Disclaimer: The following post is a work of fiction created for entertainment within the video game universe of College Football 26. All characters, events, and storylines — including Coach Clay “Stonewall” Merritt, Frankie “The Horn” Calderón, and the UTSA Roadrunners — are fictional and not affiliated with the NCAA, UTSA, or any real institutions.

Brains Don’t Beat Brawn

Rice came into San Antonio, flapping their wings about “elite academics.” GPAs, test scores, research labs — all fine if you’re trying to win a spelling bee. But this was the Alamodome, not a lecture hall. The Roadrunners didn’t show up with pencils and Scantrons. They showed up with Owen McCown, Devin McCuin, the Southwest Sack Exchange, and a mission to pluck the Owl's feathers by feather.

Final score: UTSA 49, Rice 21. Nine straight wins in the series—another lesson in humility for Houston’s “other” team.

The Numbers Don’t Lie

• First Downs: UTSA 21 | Rice 14

• Total Offense: UTSA 447 yds | Rice 254 yds

• Rushing Yards: Rice stuffed to 0.7 yards per carry

• 4th Down Conversions: UTSA 2/2 | Rice 1/3

• Time of Possession: UTSA 10:36 | Rice 9:24

They brought books. UTSA brought brawn. And once again, brains were buried under the scoreboard.

Owls Get Their Pop Quiz

For a hot second, Rice looked like they might matter. Freshman QB Patrick Crayton Jr. (14/18, 231 yds, 3 TDs) found WR Amrani Cole (6 catches, 109 yds, 2 TDs) on a quick strike, and the Owls took the first lead any team has held on UTSA this season. They puffed out their chests like they’d just aced the SAT.

Too bad football isn’t graded on a curve. From then on, UTSA outscored Rice 49–14, and the Owls were reduced to late-night cram sessions and garbage-time touchdowns.

UTSA’s Star Students of the Coliseum

• QB Owen McCown: 28/36 (77%), 392 yds, 6 TDs. Surgical. Calm. Efficient. Rice DBs studied film; he learned their weaknesses.

• RB Robert Henry Jr.: 17 carries, 70 yds, 1 TD + 2 rec for 21 yds. Body blows that softened the Owls until the haymakers landed.

• WR Devin McCuin: 10 catches, 165 yds, 2 TDs, 43 YAC. Captain consistency. On 4th-and-1? He’s the slant professor. In the red zone? He’s the valedictorian.

• WR David Amador II: 6 catches, 96 yds, 2 TDs. The slot machine cashed out with touchdowns on the pop pass and the deep shot.

• TE Houston Thomas: 6 catches, 61 yds, 1 TD. Nearly fumbled away his semester but redeemed himself with a fadeaway in the end zone.

• TE Dan Dishman: 1 catch, 11 yds, 1 TD. Extra-credit touchdown.

• LB Shad Banks Jr.: 13 tackles, 4 TFLs. The dean of defense. Class dismissed every time he showed up in the backfield.

• S Tyan Milton: 9 tackles, 1 TFL. Patrolled the secondary like the final exam proctor.

• EDGE Vic Shaw: 7 tackles, 6 TFLs, 1.5 sacks. Back-to-back sacks in the second quarter were Rice’s worst pop quiz of the semester.

Rice’s Report Card

• QB Patrick Crayton Jr.: 77% completion, 231 yds, 3 TDs… and still buried under a 28-point loss. Good numbers don’t pass the class.

• WR Amrani Cole: 6 catches, 109 yds, 2 TDs. Two late sparks in a night.

• DT Blake Boenisch: 3 tackles, 1 TFL. His “wall” got knocked down by 21 UTSA first downs.

They came in with confidence. They left with a transcript full of moral victories.

Plays That Shut the Book

1. 4th-and-1 slant to McCuin → UTSA converts, Owls crumble.

2. Vic Shaw’s back-to-back sacks → freshman QB folded faster than bad notes.

3. Amador II pop-pass TD → textbook humiliation in front of 30,000 witnesses.

The Dome Isn’t a Lecture Hall — It’s a Coliseum

Travis Scott thumping, 49 points flashing on the board, ROTC cannons firing… and Rice fans muttering “Owls run the night.” Not in San Antonio. Night class was cancelled, and little brother Rice got schooled.

Final Word

UTSA is now 6–0, riding nine straight wins over Rice, and looking every bit the Group of Five powerhouse Coach Merritt promised they’d be. Rice? Back to .500, bragging about test scores while licking their wounds.

Frankie Calderón’s advice: “Rice fans will brag about their GPAs on Monday. UTSA fans will brag about the scoreboard forever.”